The perils of making basil pesto

On a day that started like this…


…and went a lot better than any day has for a long time prior, I got home from work early (!) and decided chicken, asparagus and basil pesto pasta was in order. But oh no! No pesto in sight, so I biked off to the shops to get some. Three shops and no pesto later I decided it was about time I make my own pesto anyway (something I’ve been wanting to do for a while). So I paid a visit to my super friendly local greengrocer, who has terrible stock but the best temperament in the world. He even offered to let me away with the basil cheap when he saw me scrabbling for change in my wallet, and often claps me on the back while talking to me in a language I have never heard before. Anyway more on him in future posts (no doubt).

Now comes the part bound to make you wonder how I can type this let alone tie my own shoelaces. Those with weak stomachs stop reading now.

Next I went home, prepared the ingredients and minced them up with a stick food processor. Pesto complete, I started to clear out the base of the processor before cleaning it. And then it turned on. I was instantly covered head-to-toe in pesto and blood, and the kitchen got a fairly liberal coating too. I will not bore you with the gory details, just give you the highlights which included:

*scoffing down a massive bowl of leftover shepherds pie in 2 minutes after my neighbour told me the ambulance was on its way and I shouldn’t eat before they arrived and pumped me full of anaesthetic (brain: “but I’M HUNGRY!”)

*paramedics telling me I could wait till the morning to have my hand stitched up rather than wait in the emergency room all night

*washing out the food processor and continuing to make and then eat chicken, asparagus and basil pesto pasta

*still catching the end of My Kitchen Rules, where my two most hated characters got kicked out

So a doctor’s trip, a fingerful of severed nerves, 16 butterfly stitches and a tetanus shot later we come to the (fairly obvious) moral of the story: don’t stick your finger inside a machine that contains a running blade.

Once again, sorry about the terrible quality of the pictures and grammar (I blame blood loss). And for a great, flesh free pesto recipe, go here:

And if in doubt you know what to reach for –


Tagged ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: