I’m not dead!

“Yes, he is.”
“I’m not!”
“He isn’t.”
“Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.”
“I’m getting better!”
“No, you’re not — you’ll be stone dead in a moment.”
“I think I’ll go for a walk!”

That’s right, dear readers I’m still here, still kicking. The only excuse I have for you is that The Eastern being in town again and the increasingly dark walks to and from work have led to a hard-to-shake laziness in regards to keeping you up to date on what I eat. But no more! Here’s a rundown of amazing and secret (maybe, probably not) places to get great food in Melbourne

The Horn: Great for those who dislike utensils, not so great for those who aren’t very adventurous with their food choices. This place is probably a little overpriced for what you get but if you’ve always wanted to eat with your hands in public or eat Ethiopian food at the table next to someone who has a tattoo of Ethiopia, this is the place to be* (*I can’t guarantee that person will be there at all times, it was probably a once off but the significance isn’t lessened).

Bluebird: For a killer early morning breakfast served to you by majority kiwis, Bluebird is the only place to go. Well, maybe. It seems like almost everyone in Melbourne is a NZer. Anyway, go to Bluebird for the perfect weekend breakfast brunch whether you like it sweet, salty, spicy or milkshak-y.

Johnston St Milk Bar: Speaking of milkshakes! The milk bar is my new favourite cafe/restaurant/bar of all time thanks to its awesome milkshake menu (Cherry Ripe anyone?), board game selection and build-your-own breakfasts. That and the fact that it has almost the best pizzas of all time (title still owned by Memphis Belle in Chch)and that the dude with yellow glasses that works there is clearly the supreme master of the universe (but not in a cult-y way)

Hutong: For the best soup dumplings and chinese brocolli you’ll ever eat. Plus you can eat them till you explode, for under $15.

More tomorrow!! Love you all. But mainly, let’s face it, because only my friends read this. LOVE YOU ALL!!!

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Mexican food and great music: pineapple salsa

The promised post on tacos and beer has finally arrived! A bit late, but it’s the thought that counts. And my thoughts are with you, dear readers. All I can think about is you sitting on the edges of your seats for over a week now, waiting for this post.

The story that follows is the result of two beautiful factors coming together to make a great night, even despite the aforementioned devil headache.

Factor One: I cannot seem to make it through the week without eating mexican food. Usually tacos. Usually homemade. A combination of the constant craving I feel for mexican food and the ease and convenience of making tacos for tea usually prevents me from going more than 7 days without buying tortillas, coriander and pineapple from the supermarket.

Factor Two: My favourite band (and people) were in town for a few days only, playing a couple of epic shows, and it seemed fitting to throw them a big dinner party. Not your typical dinner party, however, more the ‘sit on the floor because we only have 4 chairs’ dinner party.

Result: My kitchen/lounge/anywhere there was space became a working area for an army of minions preparing a mexican meal of epic proportions. There was a kilo of rice with cumin seeds. There were two types of salsa. I heated over 36 (or maybe 36 exactly) tortillas in the oven. A massive case of beer was purchased (and possibly drunk) and I even opened up a bottle of fancy champagne that has been sitting around the house since I won an award at work for donating my hair.

It was a great night, proving that you don’t have to go out to a restaurant to have a great meal if you are with people that you love. And, most importantly, I didn’t have to do the dishes.

I will try to get Floz’s salsa recipe on here for you, in fact she should do a guest post or two considering she is an amazing cook. For the moment my pineapple salsa recipe will have to do. I know it seems a bit weird but it always gets the seal of approval. Comments usually go along the lines of ‘I thought this would be gross but I actually really like it (including surprised face)!”

I should start with the disclaimer that I use recipes for everything. EVERYTHING. Apart from this, which I always just invent with whatever is in the fridge that seems appropriate. So, just go for it.

1/2 pineapple
handful coriander/mint or both
1/2 red onion
1 lime
1 green chilli
1 tomato

*chop all ingredients but the lime and mix together to taste (especially the chilli!), cut the lime in half and squeeze juice into bowl
*mix together and leave for a few minutes so the lime juice takes the sting out of the onion and you’re good to go

A serious benefit to making this salsa is that you’ll have half a pineapple left to make the desserts I posted the other day.

If you’re curious who my favourite band is: http://www.forteastern.com/