I ate Spongebob Squarepants’ house. And it was delicious: pineapple desserts

I haven’t posted much recently, I know. This is mainly because the devil has decided to set up camp in my head and run riot. Don’t panic though, I don’t need an exorcist, just a good painkiller. The first doctor said migraines, the second said tension headaches, the third said cluster headaches. None gave me any effective advice for controlling said migraines/headaches. Don’t get me wrong, lots of advice was given – eat more salt, eat more sugar, just eat more in general (I liked that one), change your posture every 2 minutes, give your self a back massage (she said this like she was serious but it seems like she was secretly having a laugh), and, most bizarrely, go swimming. However, none of it has worked.

But tonight I have braved the brightness of the laptop’s glare to bring you this short post on two things: making the most of what you’ve got in the fridge and the evils of food waste.

The two topics go hand in hand really. Seeing food being thrown away or thinking about how much food gets thrown away is one of the few ways that food ever makes me feel physically ill. That and the time I ate a chicken pie that had been left on the bench overnight. This guilt leads to a heavy conscience every time I buy something that I will only use a small amount of and will go off quickly, like coriander. This week’s guilty pleasures were mint and pineapple. Both were originally bought for an epic taco-and-beer night earlier in the week (which I will post about later) and have been staring at me every time I open the fridge since. So last night after making gnocchi with red onion, asparagus, chorizo and homemade tomato pasta sauce (another case of using anything I can find in the fridge that is looking a little shaky on its last legs), a fierce determination grew to cut the brown patches off the mint and pineapple and make the most of them. This led to last night’s dessert: pineapple two ways.

Pineapple with mint sugar
*start with a pineapple (or half if making both desserts)
*cut the skin off the pineapple, core it and cut the remainder into triangles, as roughly as you want (within reason – try to cut only the pineapple and not your fingers)
*take a handful of caster sugar and a handful of mint and mix up in a mortar and pestle until you have a deep green sugar
*sprinkle over the pineapple chunks and enjoy

Note: don’t get excited like I did and just when you have it perfect shout “More mint!”. If you add too much mint or grind it up too much it will take on a soggy, paste like consistency. Not that this really matters, it just makes it harder to sprinkle.

Caramelised pineapple
*start with a pineapple (or, again, half if making both desserts)
*cut the skin off the pineapple, core it and cut the remainder into thin triangles (but don’t be too pedantic, it’ll work even with big chunks)
*mix together a tablespoon of brown sugar and half a teaspoon of cinnamon and coat the pineapple
*heat a pan over medium-high heat, add the pineapple and cook for a minute or until the sugar is caramelised
*let cool, eat and, hopefully, enjoy

Both desserts were ready minutes after the ingredients left the fridge, tasted delicious, created minimal dishes and were (sort of) healthy. I call that a cooking win. Give them a go!

Note: there are no photos this time as I am sick of abusing your trust in me by including terrible quality, blurry shots

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